Street Kings

Street drugs often have slang names. These slang names maybe descriptive of the actual drug or the effects the drug has on the user. Slang is often specific to certain geographic areas. Some slang terms mean one thing in part of the U.S. and something different in other parts. Additionally, users often create their own street names for drugs to disguise their activity and actions.

ACAPULCO GOLD - a very potent strain of marijuana from Acapulco, Mexico.
ACID - LSD
ACID HEAD - user of LSD, "Acid Freak"
AIRHEAD - under the influence of marijuana
ALCOHOL - booze, juice, sauce
ALLEY JUICE - very cheap wine, "Grapes"
AMPHETAMINES - speed, crystal, crank, meth, black beauties, bennies, uppers, dexies, 357 magnums
ANGEL DUST - Phencyclidine or PCP
ARTILLERY - equipment for shooting drugs
BACK-UP - permitting blood to back up into a syringe to ensure the needle is in a vein
BAD TRIP - unpleasant LSD experience
BAG - packet of drugs, usually a standard amount for sale
BAG MAN - person who transports money
BALLOON - small amount of contained narcotics
BANG - to inject narcotics
BARBS - Barbiturates; "downers, "reds"
BEAN - capsules for drugs
BEAT - to cheat someone
BENNIES - Benzedrine; "peaches"
BIG C - Cocaine
BIG CHIEF- Mescaline
BIG MAN - supplier of drugs
BINDLE - a small packet of drug powder
BLACK BEAUTIES - Amphetamines
BLACK HOLLIES - Amphetamines
BLACK-OUT - amnesia for events occurring while heavily intoxicated with alcohol, other sedative/hypnotic drugs
BLACK RUSSIAN - Hashish
BLASTED - high on drugs
BLAZE - Marijuana
BLOTTERS - LSD
BLOW - smoke Marijuana; sniff Cocaine
BLUE DEVILS - Amobarbital
BLUES - Valium
BLUNTS - a cigar slit open and filled with marijuana
BOMBED OUT - very much intoxicated by narcotics
BOMBITA - mixture of Cocaine & Heroin
BONG - a cylindrical water pipe for smoking narcotics, especially Marijuana
BOOST - to steal
BOOZE - alcohol (beer, wine, liquor)
BREAD - money
BRICK - a kilogram (2.2 pounds) of tightly compacted Marijuana or Hashish
BRING DOWN - come off a drug
BROKER - go-between for a drug deal
BUDS - Marijuana
BUMMER - bad experience with drugs
BUNDLE - multiple bags of a drug
BURN - cheated bv a pusher
BURNOUT - heavy user of drugs
BUSTED - arrested on a drug-related charge
BUTTONS - peyote or mushrooms
BUY - purchase drugs
BUZZED - mildly intoxicated
CACTUS - Mescaline or Peyote
CANDY - Barbiturates or Cocaine
CANDYMAN - drug supplier
CAPS - drug capsule
CARTWHEELS - Amphetamines
CHARGED UP - under the influence of drugs
CHASING THE DRAGON - a particular way of inhaling Heroin
CHINA WHITE - a very pure white Heroin
CHIPPING - occasional use of drugs
CHIPPY - person who uses drugs infrequently
CLEAN - drug free; not having drugs in one's possession
COASTING - being high on drugs
COCAINE - crack, coke, booth, blow, railers, snow, ringer, divits, toot, cola, rocks, blast, white dust, ivory flakes, nose candy, mobbeles
COKE BROKE - financially incapacitated from supporting Cocaine habit
COLD TURKEY - sudden withdrawal from drugs
COLOMBO - Marijuana grown in Columbia
COME DOWN - the ending of a drug experience
CONNECT - to purchase drugs
CONNECTION - supplier of drugs
COOKER - usually a spoon or bottle cap used to heat drugs for injection
COP - to obtain drugs
COP-OUT - to evade an issue
CRACK - Cocaine prepared for smoking
CRASH - to sleep off the effects of drugs
CRYSTALS - Methamphetamine
CUT - to adulterate drugs
CUT OUT - to leave from someplace
DAGGA - South African word for Marijuana
DEALER - someone who sells illegal drugs
DECK - a packet of drugs
DEXIES - Dexadrine, or"dex"
DIME BAG - $10 worth of a narcotic
DOLLIES - Methadone
DOPE - a general term for drugs of abuse
DOWNS - depressants such as Barbiturates, Tranquilizers
DRIED OUT - having gone through a withdrawal program for drugs or alcohol
DROP - to take a drugs orally; a place where money or drugs are left
DRUGGIE - a narcotic user or addict
DRUNK PILLS - Valium
DUST - narcotics in powder form
DUSTING - sprinkling a narcotic powder on another drug such as PCP on Marijuana
DYNAMITE - high quality, potent drugs
EASY SCORE - obtaining drugs without difficulty
EIGHTH - one-eighth of a pound of drugs
ELEPHANT - PCP
EXPERIENCE - trip on LSD
FACTORY - place where illicit drugs are prepared for sale
FIX - an injection of drugs
FLAKE -Cocaine
FLASHBACK - recurrence of previous hallucinations
FLEA POWDER - poor quality drugs
FLIP OUT - become psychotic or irrational
FLYING - under the influence of drugs
FOOTBALL - Amphetarnine
FREAK OUT - a bad trip; an unexpected reaction to a drug
FREEBASE - smoking Cocaine from a special water pipe
FREEZE - to renege on a drug transaction
FRONT - to put money out before receiving the merchandise
FUZZ - the police
GANJA - the Jamaican word for Marijuana
GET OFF - feel a drug's effects
GET ON - use drugs for the first time
GLUEY - a glue sniffer
GOLD - Marijuana, also called Acapulco
GOODS - drugs
GOOFBALLS - Barbiturates
GRAM - a metric measure of weight
GRASS - Marijuana
GUN - equipment for injecting drugs
HAPPY DUST - Cocaine
HARD STUFF - narcotics
HASH - Marijuana
HAY - Marijuana
HEAD - someone who uses drugs frequently
HEAD SHOP - store specializing in the sale of drug paraphernalia
HEARTS - Dexadrine
HEAVEN - Cocaine
HEAVENLY BLUE - morning glory seeds; a hallucinogen
HEAVY BURNER - a person who smokes a lot of dope, a burnout
HEELED - having plenty of money
HERB - Marijuana
HEROIN - china white, fix, horse, smack, whack, mother pearl, H. junk
HIGH - to be intoxicated on drugs
HIP-HOP - refers to a culture that includes rap music, art, dance, fashion, attitude
HIT- a single dose of drugs
HOG - PCP
HOLDING - in possession of drugs
HOME GROWN - locally grown Marijuana; local weed; ditch weed
HOOKED - addicted
HOPPED UP - under the influence of drugs
HORSE - Heroin
HOT - wanted by authorities
HOT SHOT - fatal injection of drugs
HUFFER - glue sniffer
HUFFING - inhaling solvents from a bag
HUSTLE - attempt to obtain drug customers
HYPE - narcotic addict
ICE CREAM HABIT - occasional drug use
IN - connected with drug suppliers
ISOMERIZER - used to increase potency of THC in Marijuana
JAG - extended period of using a drug
JIVE - Marijuana
JOINT - a Marijuana cigarette
JOY POPPING - occasional use of drugs
JUICE - Alcohol
JUNK - Heroin, so named because it's never pure when sold on the street
JUNKIE - an opiate addict
KEY- kilogram
KICK - to stop using drugs
KlCKBACK - relapse back into drug usage
KIDDIE DOPE - usually prescription drugs
KIF - North African word for Marijuana
KILLER - strong drug
KILLER WEED - strong Marijuana, or marijuana sprinkled with PCP
KILO - 2.2 Ibs., also "KEY"
KIT - equipment used to inject drugs
LAUGHING GAS - Nitrous Oxide (inhalant)
LEMONADE - poor-quality drugs
LETTUCE - money
LEAPERS - Amphetamines
LID - one ounce or less of Marijuana
LINE - a dose of Cocaine arranged in a line on a smooth surface
LOAD - a large quantity of drugs
LOADED - high on drugs or alcohol
LOCKER ROOM - Butyl Nitrate (inhalant)
LSD - acid, microdots, purple haze, blotters, fry, blaze, tab, dose, gel, pyramid, trips
LUDES - Methaqualone; Quaaludes, Valium
MAINLINE - inject a drug directly into a vein, to "shoot up"
MAINLINER - a person who injects directly into the vein
MAN - police
MANICURE - remove seeds from marijuana
MARIJUANA - buds, bhang, dope, goof butt, grass, hash, hay, hemp, herb, jive, pot, rope, stinkweed, stuff, tea, weed, wacky tobaccky, whack,
MARY JANE - Marijuana
MARIJUANA CIGARETTE - bone, doobie, joint, J, reefer, spiff
MATCHBOX - measurement for a small amount of Marijuana
MESCALINE - mess, crystal
MEET - buyer and seller get together
MERCHANDISE - drugs
METHADONE - junk, Burdock, jungle juice
MICRODOT - a tablet containing LSD
MISS EMMA - Morphine
MONKEY - drug dependency; a kilogram of a narcotic
MULE - a carrier of drugs
MUNCHIES - the hunger that follows after using Marijuana
MUSHROOMS - magic mushrooms, shrooms, mushies
NAILED - arrested
NARC - narcotic agent
NEEDLE FREAK - a person who prefers to take drugs with a needle
NICKEL BAG - a $5 bag of drugs
NORML - National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws; lobbies for lenient drug laws
NUGGET - Marijuana
O.D. - overdosed on drugs
ON - under the influence of a drug
ON A TRIP - under the influence of drugs
ON ICE - in jail
ON THE NOD - under the influence of narcotics or depressants
OUT OF IT - under the influence of drugs
O.Z. - one ounce
PAKALOLO - Hawaiian term for Marijuana
PANAMA GOLD, RED - potent Marijuana grown in Panama
PANIC - drugs not available
PAPERS - rolling papers, used to make marijuana or tobacco cigarettes
PARAPHERNALIA - accessories used to take drugs
PCP - (Phencyclidine) angel dust, kools sherms, high, wet daddies, dust, juice
PEACE PILLS - PCP
PEPSI HABIT - occasional use of drugs
PEANUTS - Barbiturates
PEYOTE - hallucinogenic cactus, buttons
PICKUP - purchase drugs
PIECE - usually one ounce of drugs
PINKS - Second (Barbiturate)
PLANT - a hiding place for drugs
POPPERS - Amyl Nitrate capsules (inhalant)
POT - Marijuana
POT HEAD - Marijuana user
POWER HITTER - a device (often plastic) used to deliver a blast of Marijuana smoke to the lungs
QUACK - doctor
RAINBOWS - Barbiturate
RAP - to talk with someone; or charged with a crime
RED DEVILS - Seconal (Barbiturate)
REEFER - Marijuana
RIG - the paraphernalia for injecting drugs
RIDING THE WAVE - under the influence of drugs
RIPPED OFF- robbed
ROACH - the stub of a Marijuana cigarette
ROACH CLIP - any tweezers-like device used to hold a Marijuana cigarette stub that is too short to hold in the- fingers
RUSH - an intense surge of pleasure; Butyl Nitrate inhalant
SAUCE - alcohol
SCAT - Heroin
SCHOOL BOY - Codeine
SCORE - to locate and purchase a quantity of drugs
SCRIPT WRITER - a Doctor willing to write a prescription for faked symptoms
SET UP - to arrange to have a person arrested for drugs; combination of uppers and downers (Barbiturates and.Amphetamines)
SHOOTING GALLERY - place where addicts inject drugs
SHOOT UP - to inject intravenously
SHOTGUN - a way of smoking Marijuana, by blowing smoke back through the joint into another's mouth
SINSEMILLA OR SINS - a potent type of Marijuana without seeds grown in Northern California
SKIN POPPING - to inject a drug under the skin
SMACK- Heroin
SNAPPERS - Amyl Nitrate capsules (inhalant)
SNORT - to inhale Cocaine through the nostrils
SNOW - Cocaine
SNOW BIRD - dependent on Cocaine
SPACE CADET - habitual user of Marijuana
SPACED OUT - under the influence of drugs
SPACED - unresponsive to surroundings
SPEED - Amphetamines
SPEEDBALL - a mixture of Cocaine and Heroin; "Bombita"
SPEED FREAK - person who repeatedly takes Amphetamines, usually intravenously
SPIKE - needle used to inject drugs
SPOONS - paraphernalia associated with Cocaine, often worn as jewelry
STAR DUST - Cocaine
STASH - a place where drugs are hidden
STEP ON - to dilute drugs
STICK - a Marijuana cigarette STIMULANTS - pep pills
STONED - under the influence of drugs
STRAIGHT - not using drugs
STRUNG OUT - heavily addicted to drugs
STUFF- drugs
SUPERMAN - LSD blotter with Superman imprint
TASTE - a small sample of drugs
TEA - Marijuana
THAI STICKS - Marijuana laced with Opium
TOBACCO - butt, chew, weed, cig,
TOKE - inhaling Marijuana or Hashish smoke
TOLLEY - or toluene; a cheap, extremely harmful paint solvent (inhalant)
TOOT - to sniff Cocaine
TOOTER - small, hollow tube (straw-like) to sniff Cocaine
TO PARTY - refers to having a good time using alcohol and other drugs
TRACKS - a row of needle marks on the skin
TRAP - a hiding place for drugs
TRIP - under the influence of drugs
TURF - a location where drugs are sold
TURKEY - a substitute sold as a specific drug
TURNED ON - introduced to drugs, or under the influence of drugs
TWEEZES -a wild variety of psilocybin mushrooms (hallucinogen)
UNCLE - Federal Agents
UPPERS - Stimulants, Amphetamines
VALIUM - ludes, drunk pills, v's blues
WACKY TOBACCKY -Marijuana
WASTED - intoxicated, strung out
WEED - Marijuana
WHITE - Cocaine
WHITE LIGHTENING - LSD
WIRED - addicted to Amphetamines or Heroin
WORKS - equipment for injecting drugs
YELLOW JACKETS - Nembutal, Barbiturate
YEN - a strong craving
ZIGZAG - a brand of rolling papers used to make Marijuana cigarettes
ZOMBIE - heavy user of drugs
ZONKED - extremely high on drugs

I swallowed love.....

I swallowed love and almost died.
I swallowed anger until I cried.
I’ve ignored my jealousy,
I’ve crushed my pride
And I’ve come to wonder,
How I’m still alive?

I cloaked insecurities with lies,
And I lied to myself a thousand times.
I’ve pushed my limits.
I’ve tried to fly,
But my feet feel heavier
Every time I try.

At last I ask myself – what for?
To not lose face?
To feel no more?
What’s the point of keeping score?
Emotions break down any door.

There’s a price we pay
For what’s locked inside.
I swallowed love and almost died.
I swallowed anger until I cried.
But these same emotions,
Make me alive

Beautiful Things - Tiesto ft Andain (In Search of sunrise 2)

Got up early, found something's missing
my only name.
No one else sees but I got stuck,
and soon forever came.
Stopped pushing on for just a second,
then nothing's changed.
Who am I this time, where's my name
I guess it crept away.

No one's calling for me at the door.
And unpredictable won't bother anymore.
And silently gets harder to ignore.
Look straight ahead, there's nothing left to see.
What's done is done, this life has got it's hold on me.
Just let it go, what now can never be.

I forgot that I might see,
So many beautful things.
I forgot that I might need,
to find out what life could bring.

Take this happy ending away, it's all the same.
God won't waste this simplicity on possibility.
Get me up, wake me up, dreams are filling
this trace of blame.
Frozen still I thought I could stop,
now who's gonna wait.

so many

beautiful things...
so many beautiful things...

Silence of Mandar

Silence
Deathly silence
Darkness
Smothering darkness
Pulling me under
I can't breathe
I can't think
Some one save me
Someone pull me back
Back into the light
Back into the warmth
Pull me from this eternal winter
Please someone

I scream
There is no sound
Only the echo of silence
Bearing down on my senses
Blinding, deafening, numbing
Silence
Heartbreaking, unending, stunned
Silence

Silence and darkness
All that I've become
All that I'm falling into
Won't someone save me
Won't someone pull me back
Won't anyone listen...

Listen to the echo..
Of silence

Unspoken Love

Not a day goes by without me thinking of you,
not a night goes by without me dreaming of you.

You are the ray of light on a gloomy day,
your voice as sweet as summer rain when you sing a song for me.

Your love gives me wings,
your loves makes me high,
for you I would fly ten times around the world or more,
because you are the only one I adore.

When I met you,I probably died,
For with you I'm in heaven.

Every night,every day,I experience these feelings I can not say.
And with you I wish to stay.

These unspoken words are chords of love,
I need you by my side my turtle dove.

Put "x" on the [ ] if its true.

Fire
[x] I am optimistic
[x] I like my freedom
[x] I am energetic
[ ] I like being center of attention
[x] I can be short-tempered
[x] I can make decisions without consideration
[x] I don't take life all that seriously
[x] I am daring
[x] I am easily-amused
[x] I love warm colours
Total = Nine

Earth
[ ] I am cautious
[x] I do not like to rush decisions
[x] I have set goals
[x] I am lazy
[ ] I dislike an untidy house
[ ] I stick to a set routine, or try to
[ ] I am down-to-earth
[ ] I have been told I worry too much
[x] I can be extremely stubborn
[x] I love neutral colours
Total = Five

Air
[ ] I am intellectual
[x] I am sociable
[x] I change my mind a lot
[x] I am curious
[x] Hugs are the best
[x] I am creative
[x] I often struggle to sit still
[ ] I like to have a lot of space
[ ] I adapt easily to new situations
[x] I love pastille colours
Total = Seven

Water
[ ] I am passionate and romantic
[ ] I get jealous a lot
[x] I have many deep thoughts
[ ] I am sensitive
[x] I am secretive
[x] I am family-orientated
[ ] I often get homesick [when I go to camps alone]
[x] I form deep emotional attachments to people
[ ] I am accident-prone
[x] I love cool colours
Total = Five

FIRE!!!!

Never Ending Thirst - the fall

I cannot bring myself to write a decent thing,
Erasing all the words, a war of pen and sheets,
This war had love, so much inside its core,
And now it fights and fights,
imaginary gore...

I cannot bring myself to cry the tears I hold,
Because I hate redundant things,
For I have cried before...
I cannot bring together, the puzzle in my lap,
For I have lost some pieces,
While jumping up with joy,
Back then,
I am In Love....
I cannot bring back the past I have inside
It makes my body shiver,
It makes my heart weep blood...


I am looking down, somewhere,
Where the abyss has arms,
spread wide,
welcoming anyone, who doesn't mind
to jump. The knowledge that it holds,
Will be known and forgotten,
Into a second split,
then crushed.
I am sat.
On the end of a cliff.
And the first and last thing,
that crosses through my mind,
Is wishing for the wind,
To push me from behind.
Because I know of death,
And how it makes you fly....

Never Ending Thirst - prologue

"The hunger inside given to me, makes me what I am
Always it is calling me, for the blood of man...
They say I cannot be this, I am jaded, hiding from the day
I can't bare, I cannot tame the hunger in me..."

Echo of Silence 3

I can't write what I feel now. Maybe it's right maybe wrong. Or maybe its just the sleepless nights. I can't figure out what am I doing in this world. Maybe somethings are just not supposed to happen.

anyways I 'm completely engulffed in a vortex of emo crysis. Don't know what to do.

and I needed a break .. so now here I am on vacation..

enjoying life. fuck everything else. I needed a change.
So now finally it has started. So i'm just gonna let go of everything else and...


sleep.

Salvia Divinorium

The way I blush when I think of you,
The way I smile when I remember your words-
The way I almost wanna pass out when someone mentions you-
The way I wanna go to bed early,
Just so I can dream of you-

The way I wanna hold your hand,
The way I write your name on my schoolpapers-
The way I wish I shared every class with you,
The way my heart beats faster,
And the way I feel when I imagine you with me-

I'm just like every other boy,
Who's ever wanted to be held by someone else-
And I'm just like every story,
Hoping for a love-filled ending-

Because I'm human too,
And I somehow still feel-
After all I've been through,
I still feel love-

Your roses are red, My bruises blue
I am dead
Except when with you

My roses are red, Your blood is too
I devour what we’ve said
And I’m addicted, it’s true

Our roses red, Our love still blue
My heart’s been fed
For now and ever, it beats for you

Essence

Berukhi ke saath sunna darde dil ki daastan
Woh kalai main tera kangan ghumana yaad hai
Humko ab tak aashiqui ka woh zamana yaad hai
Chupke chupke raat din aansu bahaana yaad hai

_________________________________________

Ghulam Ali

Fragile

Please don't call lover' name.
Thoughts run memories again.
Soul pulsate regrets.
Blood fuel flame.
Skin define gravity, down again.
Gulped throat silence secrets.
Fingers grip strong shame.
Glossy images grow pain.
Hands wipe forehead droplets.
Eyes speak lies to tame.
Lips quiver, confusion remain
Smile frown hidden under cigarettes.
Heart burden self with blame.
Silence in peace speak again.
Nothing said but everything interprets.

In search of sunrise

In search of that perfect sunrise
The rain washes away the pain
Euphoric and still
Each drop fell on my skin
Like angels sighing
pure and clean
With New eyes I am reborn
I have come through the fire
And healed by the rain
Heaven is only ever seconds away

Muzik is religion and god is a DJ

Trance music festivals attract enormous crowds and usually feature sophisticated lighting, laser and pyrotechnic displays. Most of the largest trance festivals are held in Europe.

Some of the best festivals are displayed in the Netherlands. Trance festivals in the Netherlands are mainly organized by three companies ID&T, UDC and Q-Dance:

• Tiësto In Concert Arnhem: is a gig only performance by Tiësto. Organized by ID&T. It is held in the Gelredome Arnhem.
• Armin Only, Ahoy, Rotterdam: the only DJ to mix at this event is the very popular Armin Van Buuren. Organized by UDC. (Armin Only 2008 was held in the Jaarbeurs Utrecht, Utrecht.)
• Full On Ferry, Ahoy Rotterdam: Ferry Corsten plays back 2 back with DJs who also cover various other styles such as house, techno and progressive (trance). Such DJs are hand-picked by Ferry himself, as an ode to his long career of producer of many different styles in the process.
• Dance Valley, Netherlands: an outdoor festival organized by UDC. Currently the largest dance event in the world!
• Qlimax, Gelredome, Anthem (20,000 visitors): a Hardstyle, Hard Trance event which has been gaining in popularity recently. Renowned for its impressive laser show. Organized by Q-Dance.
• Sensation, Amsterdam Arena (80,000 visitors on two nights). Not a trance-only festival, many genres such as house and hardstyle coexist. Famous for the venue (a football stadium) and the lightshow. Organized by ID&T.
• Trance Energy, Jaarbeurs, Utrecht (30,000 visitors): a festival which features only trance music, and very popular for diehard fans of trance. Many well-received DJs have played sets at this event, helping to create its fame. Organized by ID&T.
• ImPulsTanz Festival, At the Brabanthallen,'s-Hertogenbosch ( 20,000 visitors ) which started as a try-out, became a festival well known, in the BeNeLux countries, France and Germany.

Everything fades

Here she comes, my heart starts beating,
I’ve been excited about our next meeting,
Whenever I see her I start to feel weak,
Overwhelmed with excitement when she pecks my cheek,
If only I could tell her, and look into her eyes,
I hope that she’ll find it a wonderful surprise.

But she’s such a good friend; I don’t want it to end,
I could change everything all for the worse,
It would stay in my mind like a hovering curse,
So for now I think I’ll keep it a secret,
A relationship like ours I’d rather keep it.

I guess she’ll never know; never get a hint,
Or notice my heart’s ever shining glint,
But maybe one day, I’ll muster the courage,
Yet a person as beautiful as her, I could never manage,
Although not to worry, nor despair nor cry,
My love for her shall never die…

______________________________________

Ok, so basically this is something I wrote about a special someone some time ago...
It's hard to define it as 'love' because stereotypes tell us we can't understand it at this age, but I think we can, we just chose not to.
Anyhow, as bland as this poem may seem, it was from the heart and was close to me. I have yet to feel as close to a girl ever again, always do something about it, or you miss out.

Mandar
______________________

I don't mean to make you cry....

I didn’t really like it when she cried.

I just loved the way it made her look.

Her eyes were always vibrant.
But, God—God, when she cried…they sparkled.
Her cheeks would turn that perfect plum, that dangerous shade of blue-crimson.
She would push her hair out of her face: in futility.
It would fall back, frazzled, crazed.
Beautiful.

I would watch her, in her less-than-silent agony,
My eyes: absorbed, ablaze. Like a hawk.
Like a vulture.

She was so real.

So vulnerable, the conceptual putty in my hands.
Passionate, with her lips pushed lightly forward.
Almost in a kiss…

Part of me wanted to be that gleam at the tip of her eyelash.
A bigger part of me wanted to be the one to push the gleam, the tear, away.

But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t be the one who loved her.
I couldn’t love her and be the one that made her cry.

It wasn’t that I wanted to make her cry…
Really, it wasn’t.

But, to me….

That was when she was beautiful.

Come in Peace

Dedicated to one of my best and closest friends,
who lives a very busy and exhausting life

We've known each other for a long while
and I’m sure by now we are close friends.
We’ve had great times together,
and some that weren’t so great.

I don’t care about the colour of your skin,
The wealth of your family, the god you pray to
Or even what IQ you have…
Because for me, it’s what’s in your heart that counts

I regret if I’ve ever made you embarrassed…
And made you wonder why we are friends…
I’m sorry for times I’ve made you upset with me…
But know that I’ve never intended harm to you…

There was a time I felt something…
A little more for you…
But looking back, I’ve realised something…
Its better that we are close friends…

You are an amazing person,
and don’t deny it, because it’s true!
You’ve even made me stop and go “wow”
Sometimes to the point I’m overwhelmed!

You have given me a lot to be thankful for,
and have been a supporting friend in my grief…
If you ever feel like giving up…
know that I’ll be there to help you!

I just hope you realise that
all your close friends love your presence.
Without you…
not sure what we’d do…

So any time you are alone…
Or maybe feeling a little bored
just give me a call, or talk
and know I’ll always be your friend

Angel and Stitch

He found her
But she ran away.
He loved her
But she’d gone astray.

He chased her
But she just kept on.
He loved her
But the girl was gone.

He hugged her
But at him she stared.
He loved her
But she didn’t care.

He kissed her
But she pulled away.
He loved her
But she couldn’t stay.

She used him
But he didn’t know.
He loved her
But she had to go
___________________

Stuff

1. Name: Mandar

2. Male or Female: Male.

3. Were you named after anyone?: No (actually yes.. some god)

4. Does your name mean anything? not that I know of

5. Nicknames? boom shankar,boom,maxene,error,virus,tinku,bandu,amit, and
sometimes people call me Mandar

6. What do you think you look like? I don't know .. never gave a thought to that
7. Date of Birth: February 12th 1986

8. Place of Birth and Current Location: Pune,MH; Mumbai, MH

9. Nationality: Indian (and proud to be one)

10. Astrological Sign: Pisces

11. Chinese Astrological Sign: Tiger

12. Religion: --

13. Butter frying: Before I make an omelet, sure.

14. Political Position: No clue

15. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: Well I normally drink coffee. But
I'd love Absolut

16. Hair and Eye Color: Black for my hair. Black eyes

17. Do you look like anyone famous: Dj Lucca (Lucia - Czec DJ and music producer)

18. What do you think you look like?: The most beautiful pig in the world.

19. Any Unusual Talents?: I can kill people by talking to them about anyhting

20. Righty, Lefty or Ambidextrous? Righty.

21. Gay, Straight, Bi or other?: Straight

22. What do you do for a living?: I'm a student but right now I'm working at a BPO.
I'm also a freelancer (Digital Artist).

23. What do you do for fun? computer games, read, write, hang out with friends,

shopping ,go on walks, drown in alcohol on week-ends,
and anything that other people think is irrational.

24.What are your favorite materials to work with? carbon pencils,mouse,keyboard

25. What materials would you like to work with? Cameras, consoles,computers,
equilizers,speakers, clear conscience
26. Have you met your Grandparents? yes.

27. Girlfriend? no

28. Crush? yes

29. What celebrity would you date if you could? Scarlett Johanson

30. Current worries: None at the moment

31. Favorite online guy or girl: don't really have one

32. Favorite place to be: Home, or anywhere it's raining.

33. Least favorite place to be: TRAFFIC.

34. Do you burn or tan? Nope. But I do have a small scar on my right leg.

35. Ever break a bone? Noppe

36. What is your favorite cereal? Don't have one

37. Person you cry with: alone. or when watching movies anyone whose sitting by my
side.
38. Any Sisters?: Little sister.

39. Any Brothers?: loads of them. All cousins. Few from my mother's side. Few from
my father's side
40. Any Pets?: No

41. An Illness?: Insomnia (or something like dat .. I don't sleep)

42. A Pager?: What?

43. A Personal Phone?: Landline ??

44. A Cell Phone?: Drunk and lost

45. A visible birthmark?: I don't know

46. A pool or hot tub?: I want one DAMNIT!!

47. A Car? Not yet

48.Personality: I'm ecentric and very much hyperactive. There are many things that
bug my friends that don't necesarilly bug me.
49.Driving? cupcakes

50.Clothing Style: Anything which I think looks good

51.Room: light yellow. Semi small bed that I swear to God that bed is deadly because
it's so comfortable.
52.What's missing: Me

53.School: School's out

54.Bedtime: My bed doesn't tell time.

55.Relationship with your parents: I'm close with both parents equally,
just with different things. I can talk to my mom
about certain stuff that I probably could talk to
my dad with but I don't. Then when it gets on the
topic of my kinda music (trance) or Sci-Fi TV
show than my mom is totally lost.

56.Do you believe in yourself?: yes.

57.Do you believe in love at first sight?: No not really. I DO believe in true love
though

58.Consider yourself a good listener?: yeah pretty much most of the time.

59.Have a future dream that you would like to share? I wann make a completely "R" rated animation film with a good story and tell the world that cartoons are not just for kids.

60.Get along with your parents? Usually? Yeah.

61.Save your e-mail messages? Only when I'm not to lazy to do delete it.

62.Pray? nope.

63.Believe in Reincarnation? A type of it

64.Brush your teeth twice a day? Always

65.Like to talk on the phone? Yup.

66.Like to Eat? yup. I love all sorts of food.

67.Like to Exercise? Depends what I do.

68.Like to Watch Sports? sometimes.yeah. F1.

69.Sing in the Car? yeah

70.What is a Dream you have all the time? I do dream of wierd stuff whenever I sleep but in the end I end up forgetting what I was thinking about.

71.Do you Dream in Color? Can't tell. Still re-searching on that.

72.Do you have Nightmares? Very, -very- rarely.

73.Sleep with a stuff animal? NO. But.. pillows.4.

74.Right next to you? The arm of this huge ass comfortable chair

75.On your favorite Coffee Cup: sunsign.

76.On your Mouse Pad: My mouse ???

77.Your favorite flavor of Gum: I have a lot but my all time favorite: strawberry!!!

78.Your favorite brand of Deodorant: secret.

79.Your Dream Honeymoon Spot: I don't know. I can think of a few places. Britain, Italy, probably somewhere in Europe. Depends also on what my spouse thinks.

80.Your Dream world: somewhere between Zion and Neo-Tokyo.

81.Hiding in your Closet: Shoes, clothes, boxes

82.Hiding under your Bed: Bottles of alcohol.

83.The name of one of your closest friends: hmmmm... can't write her name.

84. Your Bad time of day: Hmm...

85.Your Worst Fear: Don't really have one

86.What's the Weather Like? WAY TO HOT!!!!!!! IT NEEDS TO BE COLD!!!!! OR RAIN!!!!!

87. Your favorite Time of Year? Winter!!!

88.Your favorite Holiday: ?? everyday !!!

89.A Material Weakness: chocolates,soft drinks, french fries, vodka, Lays american cheese and onion chips.!

90.The weirdest food you like to eat: Not sure

91.At the top of your To-Do List: don't have one at the moment.

92.The Hardest Thing about Growing Up: Probably leaving behind everything you knew.

93.A Pet Peeve: People poking me and tickling me.

94.Your Scariest Moment: I was drunk and cops chasing me

95.Your Attitude About Love: awesome

96.The Funniest Thing or Most Desperate Thing you've ever done to get the attention of the opposite sex: I used to follow her to know were exactly she lives.... I reached till th building but forgot the floor

97.The Worst Feeling in the World: emptiness

98.The Best Feeling in the World: there is many
_____________________________________________________
THE SLEEPLES PIG

Chaos Theory - part 1 - 351am

" a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado"

The concept of the butterfly effect is frequently referred to in popular culture in terms of the novelty of a minor change in circumstances causing a large change in outcome.The term is sometimes used in popular media dealing with the idea of time travel, usually inaccurately. Most time travel depictions simply fail to address butterfly effects. According to the actual theory, if history could be "changed" at all (so that one is not invoking something like the Novikov self-consistency principle which would ensure a fixed self-consistent timeline), the mere presence of the time travelers in the past would be enough to change short-term events (such as the weather) and would also have an unpredictable impact on the distant future. Therefore, no one who travels into the past could ever return to the same version of reality he or she had come from and could have therefore not been able to travel back in time in the first place, which would create a phenomenon known as time paradox.

======================================================

HOW AM I RELATED TO ALL THIS

======================================================

The other day , had a deja-vu and one long lasting adrenaline rush. I went to sleep at 6.5.32 in the morning. Had the free-fall. No colors. Just pure rush of blood to the brain. A flash and i woke up. I had this feeling that i had slept for hours and hours... so i got upand checked the claock.

It was 6.6.32..... exact 1 minute ... 60 seconds. I couldn't believe it... I thought somethings wrong cause i had severe pain at the sides of my head. So I went to sleep again.....

_________________________________________________________

I woke up today at 830 am in the morning........ my mom said I was sleeping for two days striaght........

Trianspotting

Brilliant gold tabs. virginal white marble. a seat carved from ebony. a cistern full of chanel number five. and a flunky handing me pieces of raw silk toilet roll. but under the circumstances, i'el settle for anywhere"

so why did i do it? i could offer a million answers, all false. the truth is that i'm a bad person, but that's going to change, i'm going to change. this is the last of this sort of thing. i'm cleaning up and i'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. i'm looking forward to it already. i'm going to be just like you; the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three piece suite, diy, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nineto-five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.

Vampire

I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I am a vampire
vampire
I am a vampire
I have lost my fangs

I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I have lost my fangs

So I'm sad and I feel lonely
So I cry and I'm very angry
And I ate some garlic
So I'm no more satanic yeah yeah

I am a vampire and I am looking in the city
But the pretty girls don't look at me
Don't look at me
Cause I don't have my fangs
But I have lost my fangs

I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I have lost my mouth again
I am a vampire
I am a vampire
I have lost my mouth again

So I get bored and I shout
So I eat pop corn and I put on weight
And I sing but my voice is breaking
And I want to play the guitar
But my guitar is out of tune

I am a vampire and I'm walking in the city
But the musicals don't play with me, don't play with me
Cos' I don't have my mouth again
Cos' I have lost my mouth again

The Second Renaissance

once upon a tym.......
d tym was 3 pm........
yet, it was as dark as night ...
n d sun was shinning brightly
den it was 4pm....
nd den it started rainin.......
suddenly it stopped raining and the earth was as much dry like there was no rain..
it was a very bad time
time for tea
that tea is made of copper
suddenly the stars came in sight although it was noon.......
& den a space ship frm mars landed on moon.....
people from earth were stunned........
They saw a small small Mungis coming out of it.....They Wondred.....??????
and the time is now 5 p.m
people sprayed DDT powder n all the mungis died..........
and den der was no space in the world to burry mungi
so ppl started burying themselves..
then a girl entered the scene
now the time is 6 p.m...................n she wished her boyfriend happy diwali
Her boyfriend......slapped her and told its not diwali..........Its Merry Christmas.....

She cried cried cried......................... and the lake was formed
n she drowned in that lake
her boyfriend felt pitieddddddd on her........he was trying to pull out his GF....... but she took a revenge.......she pulled her BF in the lake ... and she stepped out taking a support of her BF Head.......
then she went home............
her boyfriend wished her too with some other gal with hm........
nw the time was 7 pm
then a research commiteee was formed to find out how BF was saved..
dodos lived
and Suddenly.... Mogli came from the sky.....
n found out dat da committee consisted of none other dan bhaalu, kaa n bagheera
now its 9....................dinner is served
Dinner mein uske boy friend ki lash mili dal mein tairti hui
and the Bf was gulping down the dal for timepass
thn she went to sleep and saw the deadbody of the body on her bed.......
then she go to Kithen to sleep....
but den she realised dat there was no bed in kitchen so she went 2 her friends boyfriends house.[ 2 sleep]
.....but the friends boyfriends house was too full of friends of boyfriends of friends who had no place to sleep either......
then she came to my bedroom to sleep with me....

Colors of Trance

\\ THIS HAPPENS MOSTLY IN THE AFTERNOON (my morning) \\

*** IN MUZiK WE TRUST ***

CATALEPSIA

Perhaps the most ambiguous genre of dance music, trance could be described as a melodic, more or less freeform style of music, partially derived from house. While there is no strict definition for trance, songs of this genre are usually characterized as being accessible and having anthemic and epic and rifting and psychedelic qualities. Using that as a starting point, a basic trance track could then be described as being comprised of a particular melodic or vocal hook which is given presence over a bassline, a drum pattern, which often includes snare or kick drum rolls to mark important moments, and perhaps one or two other semi-quantified aural elements to provide texture and enhance the rhythm. However, not all trance fits that profile, and often times a song's classification as trance has just as much to do with who is playing it as what it sounds like.

"Music is religion and god is a dj"

Morning gas

Today is supposed to be friday so I'll consider myself among those people who start waiting for this day from sunday (after the sunset). So wot's so speacial about this day......

SPECIALITIES OF FRIDAY

1. It has six letters
2. Six is my lucky number
3. I feel very lucky in the morning (my morning starts after 2pm in normal people's life)
4. I go and watch movie on firday (alone)
5. Friday is the begining of the weeekend (it's more like "Everything that has a begining has an end")
6. I got a prize for writing essay on friday "Friday" (300 words)
   

Caffeine ~

Caffeine - the start of the day

well for me it' s the start of the night 'cause there is no day in my life.....just some dark light calling me inside....thumping my years. I just figuered out that music can make your ears bleed. But as "Sadhus " or "Kosheen" says... music is the essence of the universe .....

PART 2

ccd is a nice place to chill out. someone had said "follow the white rabbit" and I was following the blue butterfly.

INGREDIENTS OF A GOOD DAY -
1 black coffee (no sugar,no milk + 1 cigarette ) in the morning
1 irish coffee in the afternoon (just after the lunch + 1 cigarette)
1 absynth in the evening (just 1 shot + 1 cigarette)

\\ ps these notifications are for people above 18 yrs of age \\

Morning Gas

Anyone in this world woh works at a night shift knows how it feels to sleep at 7 in morning and get up at 9 and goto college to attend some vicious professor's mindnumbing lecture.

Its painful.......

so once again the sleeples pig wakes up with "Delirium - Magic Forest CD1" ....

I still can't sleep :(

Echo of Silence - 2

Like a Vagrant Poison Needle, Shadows stitch footsteps to the Earth. Like Silver Lightning, Pleasure stitches soul to body. Like Ripples across Water, Pain stitches souls to reality. Like Words to Two Lonely Hearts, Rain stitches Heaven to Earth.

Echo of Silence - 1

In temporal displacement I stared through the ring of fire at myself.
And for a brief second I was everywhere.
Chained by my storm, I could only control my fate but not the fate of others.
What good was it to do anything, if nothing could ever be changed?
With the reach of my hand, I re-awakened the ancient machine, seeking answers.

For eons this world was dead, abandoned long ago by its creators and I dared to give it life. But the question was… perhaps this world wish to stay dead? Did it want change?
Perhaps there was a reason for it to fall into the darkness?
Who was I… to bring it light?
As it drew power from my chronostorm, I realized that this was not what I wished for.
What did I wish for?
What exactly did I want? I was a mere human, bound by my dreams and thoughts, tortured by momentary impulses, bound by fate itself towards… I wasn’t even quite sure towards what.

Lo and I have become… the creator of life.
It awakened, reaching towards me, consuming everything around it, to give itself shape.
It spoke to me, not in a voice but in images and song. A long forgotten song, that had not filled these halls of scorched metal for myriads of years.
A living kaleidoscope of colors lights and colors, glittering, sparkling and lighting up before my very eyes. Scraps of metal and glass tearing themselves from the ground and levitating, rising, merging into chaotic shapes and patterns.
Hundreds of unblinking, cold metal eyes examined me, scanning, interpreting and forming an interface in my own image.
Flesh forming out of metal.
Metal forming out of flesh.